Spring is around the corner, and I can’t wait. The grey days of winter seem so long after the holidays. The daffodils have begun blooming, bringing bursts of yellow to our soggy yard. White Cala lilies are trying to defy the final freezing temperatures, and always remind me Easter is coming.
Easter speaks hope to my soul. Literally God took the worst of circumstances and did a miracle. Fulfilling the promise of Rom 8:28, “And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him.” I can’t imagine how excruciating it must have been for God the Father to watch His beloved Son suffer unjustly the death of a criminal, and wait to save the day until Sunday morning. The resurrection means that nothing is too hard for God to overcome- not my sin, or death.
There’s a common phrase used often these days, and many have used it with me post cancer. It’s some version of, you deserve____, because of all you’ve been through. It always makes me uncomfortable, because it doesn’t fit with my world view.
Grace means “undeserved favor”. This is what God gives to me. In spite of my sin, He forgives. In spite of my desire for independence from Him, He reaches in and lifts me up and brings me close, and gives wonderful gifts including grace.
We have a beautiful rose garden, because my husband puts in the effort to help them grow in our Sebastopol sandy soil. Many of our roses have fun names and we purchased them as gifts to commemorate special events.
When I went for a mid-treatment mammogram and sonogram, the medical team couldn’t find Mervin the tumor. We were overjoyed and went shopping for a rose. We found a pink one, called “State of Grace.” As a breast cancer survivor, pink has special significance. I wore a pink wig to medical appointments during my fight, to hide my baldness and show my spirit. So when we saw a beautiful pink bloom, with this name we knew it was the one to celebrate this milestone.
This week I had a checkup with my oncologist. I’m already more than two years post treatment, and she threw the word “cured” into our conversation re my progress. We were shocked. She’s not an optimist so it felt very significant that she would use that word. I celebrated by eating amazing chocolate cake a friend made, and painting 😁
I painted pink roses, and named it “State of Grace.” I am living in a state of grace on so many levels. I don’t deserve to be cancer free. I have many people I love fighting metastatic cancer. They don’t deserve to be in a battle for their lives. We all are experiencing the brokenness of this world, and some of us have it affecting our bodies each day in the form of life threatening disease.
As we look towards spring, and Easter, may each new flower blooming speak to us of the promise of Grace. Instead of expecting something easier, better, more fun- may we reach for the gifts God offers in the midst: grace, strength, joy, peace, compassion…
As you look towards Spring & Easter comes, may it be a reminder that God can bring victory into anything- even the most excruciating of circumstances. I pray that you will experience joy that defies hurt. Grace that sustains you and redeems you and whatever you or someone you love are facing.
