What do we do when life backs us into a corner? In meeting with my team of cancer doctors I often lamented to my husband that there wasn’t another choice on the menu. They were thankfully offering treatments that would save my life but they all came with possible side effects some of which I’m healing from now. This week, I met a newly diagnosed breast cancer patient. In discussing her upcoming treatment she said, “Well, I don’t have much choice, do I?” But she does have a choice to make, and in that moment I saw her choice more clearly than I can sometimes see my own.
From my gut I responded, “Oh yes you do! Are you going to give up? or fight?” Her eyes took on a militant gleam, she squared her shoulders and said, “Fight!” She has this choice as she faces her first oncology appointment, her first infusion, her first treatment decision. She can avoid reality or suit up and fight her battle.
We all get battles placed in our lap that we don’t want. None of us saw a pandemic coming. Now all of us have to choose how to re engage in life and our world as we move out of crisis mode and into Covid 19 being a part of day to day life. How did our ancestors do it with the Spanish Flu or rebuilding their lives after fighting WWI or WWII? It wasn’t easy, but the survivors of those times have stories we want to know. Those stories include choices they made sometimes unconsciously because not fighting just wasn’t an option for them.
There is a place for grief in all our stories. Grief that our world got torn apart by a diagnosis, death, or world event. Sometimes treatment isn’t an answer we receive. It takes courage to engage hospice and to spend any time given well. Even in the midst of excruciating circumstances, we can choose our outlook.
What does fighting really look like? It can take so many different forms, but the main one I’m thinking of is an internal attitude of grit. Will we run away from the grief or current challenge? Or will we show up, face our lack of control, go through it vs. around it, and fight?
In the midst of my cancer battle I was amazed anew at David’s courage when he went out to meet Goliath (1 Samuel 17). He showed up to the battleground with provisions for his brothers to encourage them during their battle. He discovered his older brothers cowering in fear because of the enormity of the challenge before them- a literal giant who was taunting their God and declaring that all someone had to do was defeat him and the Israelites could win.
David was appalled. He was a young man with a fresh perspective of how God had saved him from wild animals while tending his sheep. He had confidence in “the Lord Almighty” (v 45) and declared “the Battle is the Lord’s” (v 48). He went into a sword fight with a sling and some stones, and no outward armor. His armor was in Whom he was placing his confidence and a tool he knew how to use.
David had met with King Saul and couldn’t stand up under the weight of Saul’s physical armor. He had to find his own. He went back to what he knew- Who God is and what God had used in his life before- a sling shot. Using these weapons he, a boy, defeated a huge war veteran (there’s more gruesome details to the story) but you get the gist. I bet family dinners were a hoot after he did what his older brothers were afraid to do…
We don’t have to go into any battle alone. We can choose for God to be with us, and He will supply the armor and the strength (Eph. 6). The mechanics of this might look different depending on what motivates each of us and what we are facing.
My sister-in-law fought brain cancer at 24 and modeled how to survive with grit and kindness. Every person who helped her from a doctor to an orderly became her best friend, affected by her contagious spirit of faith and courage. I was so fortunate to go into my battle with that inspiration. I’m also motivated by humor so “Wonder Woman“ gear was helpful to me as were all kinds of different wigs. Having a beautiful calendar to cross off milestones & record blessings was an important tool as was a water bottle as a constant companion with my battle cry stuck to it. I encouraged my new friend to spend this weekend figuring out how she was going to suit up for her cancer battle.
Now as I recover strength and grieve the losses of this year, beautiful cards with encouraging promises from Scripture are stuck to my mirror. So is a photo of a rainbow God gave me mid treatment to remind me that the rain won’t last forever and His promises remain true. I spend a lot of time in the beauty of our garden my husband maintains, being creative, and swimming. What works for you?
I wish every story had a fairy tale ending, but that’s just not life is it? Heaven is where all sorrow and pain will cease. Unfortunately here on earth our time includes heartache. Victory can come by putting one foot in front of each other and keeping our faith in the “Lord Almighty” who doesn’t always use his omnipotence in the ways we think He should. When I question what He allows, I remind myself that I don’t want God’s job. I can’t see the big picture and He can.
Joy can be found in trusting even when we don’t understand. Joy can be found in suiting up with His armor and confidence that He’s got a plan even when we can’t see it. The rain doesn’t last forever. It does allow the flowers to grow and the sun will peak through again. Let’s look around for the stones we need for our sling, show up, and FIGHT.
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