Expectations

Life isn’t fair. We know this, right? Then why do I still act like I expect it to be free of pain, have less hard more soft? My attitude falters when life hurts.

Last week I headed to the physical therapist for an early morning visit to get some help with post radiation healing. I was in a pain and spring allergy haze = an overall funk. I sat in my car to regroup after the visit, gulp my coffee, and complain to God that I’m post treatment and I didn’t expect this new hurdle.

God can handle honest dialogue but he loves me enough to not want me to stay in a funk. He reminded me to pause and be grateful- for something, anything. When my gaze is cloudy I can usually come up with at least 3 things to be thankful for- my family, chocolate, coffee…

Then something happens in my spirit. 3 things turn to 10. 10 can turn into 20. On that day, it was easy to add that the therapist was lovely and helpful. She had given me hope that we’ll get through this to the other side. To grow the list I can start to name my family members, friends or the beauty I see in the garden my husband works so hard to maintain. I’ve asked God for eyes to see the flowers, literal and figurative, along my path each day.

Today, I was grateful to exercise, consisting of two laps around our property and 10 min riding my stationary bike. (This is quite a big improvement for me! ☺️) My dog, Akili, and cat, Duke, joined me the entire time. They are hilarious! Part of why they hang in there is they want the treats that I keep in my pocket to reward them at each leg of the journey. Duke lost his treat under a board, so when I gave him another one, Akili looked up at me totally affronted that she wasn’t getting another one too. Here’s some photos of their post exercise expectant faces 😆 you guessed it- we always wrap up with one more treat.

It struck me that I often look at God totally affronted for what He’s giving me in a given moment. Life has been full of hard this year for my family and others that I love and in our world. Some of these circumstances are truly excruciating and I don’t pretend to know the why. In the pain, it’s easy for me to forget the blessings that I’ve been given too. Like Akili, I can forget that really just seconds before I was blessed.

So what can I expect? Life will be hard 🥴 but it will also be good. No, it’s not fair. Psalm 89:15-17 says, “Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk in the light of your presence, Lord. They rejoice in your name all day long.” This is good news. We can learn this!

So how do I rejoice all day long? Well it can start with naming just three things ☺️ The first can be that God is always near no matter what. Let’s celebrate that by seeking to walk in the light of His presence no matter what path we’re on.

Bonus photo- my son’s dog, Moose, after he jumped into the fountain to get cool and then rolled in the dirt 🤣 For sure the smiles he brings are flowers on my journey.