Promise of Presence

God’s promises are so precious. When I was 18 I discovered which one in particular was at the top of my list. That summer a horse put all its weight on my foot. We hoped it was just another injury that would heal. Unfortunately, it hasn’t been. Instead a life long pain condition set in. A crisis of faith happened for me because of that event. I had to figure out what I really believed about God. I found myself asking what promises of His I could rely on.

We can build our lives on belief structures that we don’t even realize we have, then something  can happen to force us to really consider what is forming the way we think. Somehow I had gotten the idea that if I was doing good, then good would happen to me. When this “bad” thing happened, I was doing something “good”- working at a camp for kids. We can mix truth with fiction without even realizing it. In reading God’s story, I see a different truth. The one God loved the most- His Son- suffered the most. Jesus didn’t do anything to deserve the treatment He got. He didn’t even have to let the pain happen to Him, but He did- out of love for us.

The greatest gift God has given us came through the pain that His son endured. Through that suffering, God gives us the opportunity to never be alone again. What God really wants to give us is His presence. We never have to be alone for now or eternity.

The promise found in Jer 29:11 is super encouraging: “‘I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future,'” That long ago summer I didn’t feel like it applied to me, then I noticed verse 13. “‘You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.'” Wait, what? My mind had all kinds of ideas for the “plans” of verse 11. Mostly less pain, more “good”. As my world slowed to a crawl with limited mobility, I had time to really see v 13. Hmmm, maybe God’s definition of “good” is my greatest good = more relationship with HIm…

What do we really want when we are hurting? (Besides an off button) We want someone to listen and care. My heart is heavy this week. We have so many in our lives that are in pain. We are still trying to wrap our heads and hearts around all that happened this year with cancer and the loss of my sister and my mother-in-law, yet around every corner it seems there is more heartbreak. In the midst of this, my husband and I shared dessert and tea with some friends. They listened. They cared. We didn’t feel so alone and our hearts were lighter as we left there that night.

During cancer, Psalm 16 was a lifeline. Especially vs 11: “You will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.” God promises us joy, in His presence. This is a promise for eternity, but also for now. We never have to be alone, no matter what we face. This is the light in the darkness. The song in our night. (photo: I had fun hand lettering Ps 42:8)

Experiencing that light in our dark is beautiful. One friend in a text said her hard this week has caused her “to run to God over and over…why does it take the hard stuff??!” Yeah, why is that? Maybe because I’m so prone to think I’m enough- I’ve got this, I can figure it out, I’m in control. Ha! Reality begins when I admit none of those statements are true. My closest friends know they aren’t true either. Together we support each other in the need we experience each day. That need opens us up to each other in honesty and a deeper reliance on God’s “enough.”

The amazing news is that God has enough wisdom, enough love, enough strength for whatever we’re facing. When we spend time with Him, He fills us up with it and we then get the joy of sharing His enough with our world. It’s encouraging to encounter Jesus with skin on in our everyday life (like our friends who listened), and it fills us with wonder when we get to see Him love others through us. I gave my wigs away this week to another fighter. She has cancer, and an indomitable spirit. The hug she gave me when she picked them up was priceless.

On a lighter note- the animals’ furry presence bring a smile to my face every day 🙂 Thought you might enjoy seeing Duke join me in the office/creative space and Neal’s Moose helping me stretch on our cabin trip. Such goofballs.